Sexual Safety Tool Kit

Condoms
Condoms are distributed in bars, in schools, bathhouses and at various health organizations, including gay and lesbian community centres. You can buy them, too. Because condoms are now omnipresent in our society, the tendency is to believe they don’t require explanation or discussion. We beg to differ.

7 Easy Steps
1. Check the expiry date and also check that the package is airtight. Push the condom away from the edge of the foil package before you tear it open.

2. Before unrolling it, place a drop of water-based lube inside the tip of the condom. This increases sensation.

3. Pinch the tip of the condom, squeezing the air out and leaving between a quarter inch and half an inch of space at the end for cum.

4. Proceed to roll the condom all the way down the erect penis. If you’re uncut, pull down your foreskin beforehand to avoid “bunching”.

5. Lube up the outside (and his inside) with water-based lubricant for easy entry. Add more lube as needed.

6. Enjoy.

7. If you cum inside your partner, hold the condom by the base as you pull out to prevent semen from spilling or seeping. And dispose.

Note: Don’t use two condoms (one on top of the other). This actually increases the chance of breakage.

Exploring Condoms
The best way to get comfy with condoms is to wear one while jerking off. Get comfortable with the unique sensations that condoms provide, and get used to their application. The middle of a steamy fuck is not the best, or easiest, time to be checking out condoms for the first time or learning how to wrap one’s cock. Also, experimenting with a variety of condoms beforehand allows you to discover which condom suits you best. There are so many condoms available, in so many flavours, textures, sizes, and colours. Remember, as a sexual health leader, it’s your job to encourage exploration.

Wearing a condom seems like such a simple thing, but some guys just aren’t comfortable with the mechanics of it. And they don’t want to admit their confusion, either. Whether the envelope is hard to open, or it’s unclear which side is the inside, or there is simply a difficulty taking it off without spilling sperm everywhere, the simplest problem can cause people to drop condom use. But practice makes perfect. And the more we practice, the more comfortable we all get with condoms and with our sexual partners.

For those who lose their erections once the condom is on, it’s best to remember that this is an opportunity to understand why and how the hard-on gets lost. The more we use condoms, the less distracting they become.

Avoiding Breakage
It’s always possible that a condom will break. Once broken, there’s little protection provided. These are some points you might find useful to help guys prevent breakage and respond better if a condom does break:

1. Always pinch the tip of the condom when rolling it down. (Not pinching the tip is often the reason why condoms break.)
2. Only put condoms on hard cocks.
3. Always use water- or silicone-based lubes. Oil-based lubes break down condoms.
4. When penetrating, check the condom is in place.
5. Check expiration dates beforehand; don’t use expired condoms.
6. Don’t keep condoms in your pockets, wallet, or any other place where the condom will experience heat or movement.
7. Never open condoms with your teeth or with scissors.
8. Be careful of rings, nails, and piercings when manipulating a condom.
9. When fucking for a prolonged period, occasionally pull out and check the condom.

But what if a condom does break, after all? When a condom breaks, the wearer and the guy he’s fucking are exposed to the same risk as guys who don’t wear condoms. This means HIV and all other STIs are potential infections. It’s important to stop fucking and pull out. See a health care provider for an STI screen.

About Female Condoms The female condom may offer an alternative to the conventional condom not only to heterosexual couples but to homosexuals as well. The gay community has not entirely jumped on board with this one, but some guys are very curious. Sensation for the top can be more enjoyable (though practice is required). The female condom is a lightly lubricated bag with an inner and outer ring. The inner ring is removable and the outer one is fixed. The outer ring ensures that the female condom doesn’t slide inside, and the inner ring helps when inserting the condom and holds it in place once it’s in. The female condom is more expensive than conventional condoms, but some STI clinics give it out for free.

5 Easy Steps
1. Hold the pouch with the open end hanging down and squeeze the ring at the closed end with your fingers.
2. Still squeezing the ring, insert the condom into his ass.
3. For maximum protection, the part holding the inner ring needs to go up inside, past the sphincter muscle. Wayyyy up. Most guys take the inner ring out before inserting, though. (You can use it as a cock ring!)
4. The wide opening of the pouch should stay outside the ass, even after entry.
5. To remove, twist the part outside the ass, to trap the cum inside and pull the rest out gently. Discard.

Lube
Choosing the lube that’s right for you is like choosing the T-shirt that’s going to give you the chance to use the lube: the options are various and there’s no one lube that works best for everyone. Since everyone’s ass is a little bit different (Margaret Cho notes that they’re “like snowflakes” that way), our asses work differently with different materials. Always encourage experimentation. Like condoms, lubes come in an endless series of flavours and textures. Try the Cappuccino.

Given the variety of choices, choosing a lubricant can be a daunting task. Sex shops have a large variety of lubricants to choose from. It’s important to familiarize yourself with the best shops in your own town because drug stores usually only carry one or two brands. (You wouldn’t give everyone the same size T-shirt, would you?) Some guys might complain that using lube cuts back on spontaneity, but most enjoy the slippery pleasure that lube provides. Choosing a lubricant is a question of personal preferences.

The major difference between lubes is their base material: water, oil, or silicone.

Water-Based lubes come in a large range of prices and often include flavours. Different water-based lubes dry out at different speeds. A bit of spit or water can reactivate water-based lube.

Oil-Based lubes are great for jerking off or using toys but aren’t recommended for condom sex. Oil-based lubes (including Vaseline) are not compatible with latex condoms; they break down the material.

Silicone-Based lubes are more expensive, but most guys enjoy the fact that they last far longer than a water-based lube. In fact, silicone is so persistent that sometimes cleanup becomes a bit of a chore (it can stain the sheets for one thing). A shower with lots of soap might be needed to get it all off. (Note: read the ingredients to find out if a lube is silicone-based. Anything that ends in icone, like Dimethicone, can be considered a silicone.) Not to be used with silicone toys.

Dental Dams
Since the risk of contracting HIV is low when rimming, most guys don’t use a barrier.
Dental dams are one option if you would like to use a barrier. Dental dams are squares made of latex that are used by dentists. They tend to be thicker than condoms, since they aren’t designed for sex. That said, erotic stores are now selling flavoured dental dams that may be more appropriate. They can be used for two kinds of oral sex—mouth to vagina or mouth to ass.

Plastic wrap—the non-microwavable kind—can be easily grabbed from any kitchen and it does prevent the passage of HIV. It’s an effective barrier for rimming. It’s also cheaper, thinner, transparent, easy to get, and just a little bit funny.
By the way, a condom can also be cut into a rectangle that does the job, too.

Latex Gloves
Latex gloves are readily available in drugstores, sex shops, and medical supply stores. You may be able to grab them at STI clinics, too. Gloves are generally used for fisting and more rarely for finger fucking. If there are any open cuts on the hands or if the guy suffers from chronic skin diseases such as eczema, latex gloves are highly recommended.

From: FERLATTE, O. and HARRIS M.. 2005. Totally Outright a guide for sexual health leaders. Community Based Research centre. 134 pages.