HIV and casual sex

HIV status will likely not be discussed during casual sex. You can avoid passing on HIV to someone else, or getting infected with HIV, by using condoms and water-based lube when you fuck.

Some of us who are HIV-positive choose to only have sex with other HIV-positive guys to avoid potential rejection and discrimination. However, we might make assumptions about the HIV status of our casual partners. Sometimes we guess right, other times we guess wrong. Just because someone didn’t ask for a condom, doesn’t mean he’s also HIV-positive. Local research with guys has shown there are many reasons why we may not ask to use a condom, including shyness, unassertiveness and depression.

Some of us who are HIV-negative are afraid to have sex with guys who are HIV-positive. However, it’s likely we’ve already had sex with guys who are HIV-positive without knowing it: maybe HIV status wasn’t discussed, or the other guy didn’t know he had HIV. We might make assumptions about the HIV status of our casual partners. Sometimes we guess right, other times we guess wrong. Just because someone didn’t ask for a condom, doesn’t mean he is also HIV-negative. Some HIV-positive guys assume that if you don’t ask to use a condom, you must also have HIV. Local research with guys has shown there are many reasons why we may not ask to use a condom, including shyness, unassertiveness and depression.

Each one of us has the responsibility to protect ourselves and the other person from HIV transmission.

From: AIDS Committee of Toronto. 2005. Cruising the ins and outs of hooking up for men. Handy Dandy how to handbook. 41 pages. handydandy.ca